Who Is The Prize In A Relationship? The Man Or The Woman?
"Don't lie to a woman telling her she's the only 1 you're seeing when she's not! Be honest & let her decide if she wants to compete." Did he just come out and volunteer this false information or did the woman take it upon herself to ask him if he was seeing anyone other than her and he chose to tell her a lie rather than the truth? Then I looked at the statement again and there was something else that got under my skin. In PARTICULAR it was the word COMPETE
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**WARNING** I feel a rant coming on. Yeah, I'm about to go off so buckle your seatbelts because it's about to go down
Truth of the matter is until we are married EVERYONE is competition. Men and women BOTH have to do it! We are BOTH the prize. We are each worthy of effort from the other and both should be recognized and appreciated for the wonderful and great things that make us who and what we are! As a woman why would you waste your time with a man who you did not feel was worthy of a blue ribbon in the county fair? Seriously! What the heck!??! Who wants a man who is not worthy of a crown and a seat on the throne of your castle. You want a man who comes in first place about all the others and last I checked you come in first place only in a competition and the one who wins the competition is the champion and gets the trophy, takes home the purse, the title, wears the ring etc. Think about it any competition rather it be bass fishing, golf, boxing, basket ball, soccer, dog sled racing, cooking, dating, courting it's all a sport.
Why do some women climb on some crazy big ole stankin horse and think that a man is the only ones who needs to BRING IT and come with his A game? Why do some women think that they are a mans best and only option? Did you not look around and see all the wonderful variety of woman that God created? Did you forget that you are not the only woman that God ever made? Did you really think that this man never met a good woman before you, while knowing you, or could meet one after having had met and maybe even sexed you?
YES, we can all agree a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. But what women forget to quote is how he finds her! How he recognizes who she is from all the other beautiful sweet, sexy, pretty, exciting women he encounters EVERY SINGLE DAY (unless he's living under a rock or incarcerated). I'll tell you how a man find HIS good thing. HE FINDS HER BECAUSE HE RECOGNIZES HER! SHE MAKES HIM FEEL GOOD, SHE IS GOOD TO HIM AND SHE REPRESENTS THE QUALITIES OF WHAT HIS WIFE AND MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN ARE. She stands out from the other women. She has a connection with him on a very real, emotional and personal level that the other ladies don't. There is nothing that she had to do to make this connection with this man outside of being herself. She didn't have to be someone she's not, she didn't have to kiss his behind. She just treated him the way she was lead to treat him naturally. She was herself and he was himself and the worked! He recognizes her as this wife BECAUSE she is a good thing! YES She is his prize. The Jewel in his crown, worth far more than rubies or gold, But he is those very things to her as well.
There isn't anything that a woman can do to make a man choose her and love her. The same is true with a man. He can't force a woman to choose and love him either. Sure some marry for reasons other than love and respect. But those are not people who "Found their good thing" Those are people who Found money, status, title or a big ole bootie. There is a difference! You can see this is the royal family for example. Look at Charles and Diana. He clearly never loved her. I never say the sparkle in his eyes for her like he has for Camilla! No one can argue that Diana was way more attractive physically (to most, but we know beauty is in the eye of the beholder). We could also see how Diana was not all that enthused about marrying Charles. She never looked like she was excited about it. Not even on their wedding day. She looked. in my opinion miserable. I don't recall seeing a genuine glow or smile or twinkle in her eye. For them I dare say it was all about status the monarch, the lineage. It was not based on a mutually shared connection, genuine love and respect for one another. There appeared to be no revelation by either of them that they we're marrying someone they wanted to spend their life with and charles surely didn't appear to have the dimeanor of a man who had without a doubt found his good thing.
Now fast forward almost 30 years to the marriage of their son William and his wife Kate. Their relationship is completely different! HE FOUND HIS GOOD THING! She is not from any royalty, she is from the working class (even though her family has done quite well for themselves). He met her, they built a relationship, they we're great friends and grew to love and respect one another. She knew who he was, he knew who she wasn't but they didn't look at that, they looked at each others hearts and characters and how they treated one another. Is he husband material, is she wife material, will they make a great father or mother. If you think for ONE second that Kate did not have to compete for the attention of the prince then you are out of your mind.
She did. She had competition. HELLO HES A PRINCE AND WAS NOT ALL THAT BAD LOOKING (especially his brother Harry good lawd But don't get me started on that fine lil red headed naughty fella). I digress! Kate most certainly did compete! Because there we're women who we're trying to throw themselves at William! We've all heard the story of Cindarella and how the women we're all trying to shove their foot in that shoe! Well that really happens and not just for princes. It happens for regular men too. Even the ones with the not so great jobs, or fancy cars or big bank rolls. There is always someone who see's something in the one who you see something in. Don't think for a second you're the only one. The moment you think you can't be replaced is the very moment you're about to be.
Kate Won! Wanna know how? It wasn't her family name that won the crown and seat on the throne. It was KATE BEING KATE and loving William from a very real place. She wasn't concerned about the other women. They actually broke up for a while. SHE LEFT HIM!!! She didn't make him choose to be with her and her only. She actually took away his choice to be with her so long as he was intent on being with others. She didn't want to share him. She loved him. She was not willing to compromise and settle for a piece of him. She didn't twist his arm, make a big fuss. She told him it's ok if you want to see others, but we can't see each other while you do it. She then went on with her life and it didn't take long for him to realize that he was about to loose his good thing! When they got married you could see it! The love the respect the admiration, the happiness, the confidence in both of their decision to we'd each other. They we're both beaming. They both cried. They are truly in love. She IS his most precisious Gem and he is her prize. They won each other. They are BOTH the prize.
Ladies, if you really want to be a mans one and only then treat him in a way that will make him want you as his one and only. As far as I'm concerned unless you are BOTH on the same page with each other as far as what you want in your relationship with one another. There is NO need to ask about any other woman! Thats DUMB. If you're concerned about a man seeing other women then you obviously don't feel like he is connected to you the way a man is connected to a woman who he is really digging. When a man is digin a woman she KNOWS! He makes it quite obvious. If you aren't sure and you're concerned then here's a tip to help you keep your sanity and keep you from making a complete and utter fool out of yourself by acting crazy (in a embarrassing that's not cute kind of way) DONT SLEEP WITH HIM TOO SOON! You only care about the next chick because you gave up the poon poon too soon! Once a woman gives up the goods she feels like she can lay claim on that man. Before that she hasn't given him her most sacred gift. So she's not feeling all insecure and acting all Cray-Cray. All a woman has to do is just Save it! Don't be in such a rush, take your time, wait a minute! I know it's not easy sometimes when the attraction is ALL THE WAY TURNED UP! It's SUPER hard. (literally and figuratively) but do yourself a favor and savor the moment of growing and getting to know someone before you go making soul ties with folks who don't even really like you, that you don't even know. Take a pause for the cause and get to know their true nature and character. Find out if you even like the idea of them being in your space let alone your body! Then they won't get all up in your head and you won't be feeling played when you learn that they have another that they actually prefer more than you who is probably not even sexing him. Or at least didn't sex him right away.
I say all that to say this, if you are NOT in a committed relationship with someone rather you are a man or a woman then you need to #1 ASSUME they are seeing others and #2 rather you are a man or woman up until the day a man has gotten on his knee and asked a woman for her hand in marriage and she has accepted and is proudly rocking a hunk of highly compressed coal held in some form of precious metal on her left hand finger then you ARE in a competition! That's just the way it is!
MAY THE BEST WOMAN AND MAN WIN! I hope you get the point I'm making here. You should ALWAYS GO FOR THE GOLD with the one that you resonate with on a very real heart to heart, head to head and spirit to spirit kinda way. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by putting your ego aside and loving this person the way your heart and soul genuinely and authentically is calling you to do.
Instead of asking who they are seeing in addition to you when you KNOW darn well you don't have no titles or understanding of exclusivity just have a heart to heart conversation with them about the fact that you desire to have a committed relationship with them and ask them if they have given any thought to that and how they feel about it. It's always important to know where you stand (not right off the bat though, give things some time to develop organically before you go trying to enact labels and titles on the relationship and each other.)
Pace yourself and at the appropriate time find out if you two are on the same page and if you aren't make whatever adjustment you need to make for yourself in order to be wise with your heart. If it means walking away in order to spare yourself the pain of loving someone that is still playing the field and not ready to settle down or even worse someone who just dosen't view you the same way you do them then that's what you gotta do! Just remember there are two winners in every healthy loving relationship which means there are two prizes. You are one and so is the one that you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with. I know the man that I'll accept as my husband with will be my treasure and absolute pleasure and I will be his. I wouldn't have it any other way! Why is the man the only one who should get a prize for the rest of their lives? Don't women deserve to have one too? Of course they do. So ladies and gentlemen HUMBLE yourself. It's time to climb down from the high stinky tail horse that you have some how mounted and stop the madness. Its not for the sake of anyone else but your own. We're all too old to still have these elementary thoughts and philosophies. We're especially too old to be saying these things out loud with a straight face. It's time to put away childish things, grow up and have grown up relationships with one another. Enough is enough!
LADIES SOMEONE LIED TO YOU. I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE TRUTH. IT IS A COMPETITION & YOU DO HAVE TO COMPETE FOR A MAN. For all you ladies who believe only women are the prize and only men should have to compete against other men to gain the attention of the one they want to be with press play, watch and listen. This is an actual husband describing how his wife Tamar Braxton stood out from the other woman in his life and won not only his attention and the ring but his heart forever. Yes he, like she was and still is the prize. They have been together for 10 years now. But at that time he had a long term girlfriend Tamar had no idea he was seeing anyone other than her back then (He was a bachelor they do that sometimes but that's another story). Tamar just did what natural and on her heart to do for him because she liked him all the while the woman who was in his life longer than her at the time thought she had it sewed up tight and couldn't be replaced. Little did she know there was truth to that old saying and What she didn't and wasn't willing to do another woman did. Guess what ya'll "She Won" (In my Tamar Braxton voice)
Also pay attention to the marital advice that Mary J Blige and other married couples give the newlyweds on how they can keep their marriage strong for many years to come. ~ Dani Love Strong
Wanna Know what Tamar is doing to ensure her husband STAYS her husband? She wrote a song about it Wanna hear it? Here it goes! Based on the way Vince is jamming in this video and the fact that they just had their first child together less than a month ago, I think it's safe to say he likes the way his wife pops it and serves up that hot shuga shuga.
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